Honest Tea

Is overpriced.

But sooo good. I just paid $2 for a plastic bottle of: purified water, organic cane sugar, organic green tea, organic honey, citric acid and ascorbic acid.

I'm a proponent of eating organically, but whole foods is the devil. I just bought honey there, forgetting to look at where it was from, and as I was putting it into my tea last night-- I noticed that it was from EFFING BRAZIL. Why?! Damnit... and to think, my dad raises bees- I should have just asked him to send me some actual organic honey straight from the hive. I bet the carbon footprint of that bottle of honey would challenge that of the Hummer that drove by earlier. Every time I see a Hummer I want to die a little on the inside, but even more-- I feel a violent urge to throw myself onto that heinous hunk of metal and then slash the tires and then maybe the driver.

I'm going to Dollywood. Nicole and I are eloping there, right under the Wig-Slide... beside the Boob-coaster. Ya jealous? This is what we do when things get too rough for the going... we "go to Dollywood in my mind." And then we sing Dolly Parton songs (which I don't know but people here do).

Does this post seem pointless and scattered and boring? Good! I'm procrastinating! It's 10:22pm(although my clock says 4:22 because I'm too lazy to change it back from a million months ago) and I'm not even CLOSE to finishing my paper due tomorrow morning at 8. So while contemplating the wonders of the world and my future in effort to not do my paper here are some things that have come across my mind-

1. Texas and California can just fall off the US entirely (no offense to some select people), as my peers here would agree. CA is about to release about 600,000 prisoners back into your communities because they can't afford to lock them up any more! Frightening, right? SO go ahead and just fall off, become your own countries.

2. People wearing cologne or perfume at the gym should be banned from doing so. It makes me want to vomit (on them) when it smells like Abercrombie while I'm trying to run.

3. I think my ultimate goal in life is to travel and to be paid to do so... how can we make this happen folks?

4. I'm at the lib, and the guy a couple seats diagnol to me is watching funny youtube videos and snickering, it's sort of endearing.

5. Gay bars! Are awesome! The few awkward encounters are completely outweighed by the mostly naked male gogo dancers (with bodies sculpted by Michelangelo himself). If you're a lady, you don't have to worry about being hit on by gross men, but instead are told your hair is fabulous and then sing lady gaga together.

6. Pandora needs to not have a 40 hour a month limit.

7. I really need to see a good movie some time soon. A great one. Not a romantic comedy, not a comedy, not a horror, but a thought-provoking and disturbing film that gives you a movie hangover for days. I love those. I could just read a book, but I get way too attached and end up living in the book for the duration of my reading it.

8. Hugh Laurie is my very own jesuschristsuperstar. I heart him so much. If I owned the world I would look like Kim Kardashian (look, not act) and be married to Hugh. Or maybe the "russian" Alexander, in sex and the city.

I've wasted enough time. I'm going to Dollywood in my mind.
Should I continue this rhyme?

bahahahahahahha. someone STOP meeee.